Everybody has a reason they have fallen in love with as to why they have not done as well as they should or not doing as well as they can. I must say that I have wrapped and bow-tied a few reasons of my own over the years. If the truth is to be told “without dressing” we are responsible more than anybody else for our shortcomings. All of us have been handed bad circumstances and have been short-changed by the persons we were counting on at one time or another. Yet the persons who have been successful all have similar stories of misfortune, betrayal, and rough patches too numerous to mention. What makes them successful is that they face their circumstances and overcome them.
I heard someone make this statement once, “problems are not a special set of circumstances reserved for the poor or underachievers, we all have our share, the difference is what we do about them.” Another quote that I have found to be remarkably insightful is, “we are all self-made but only the successful will admit it.” In dealing with challenges or problems or building our lives we must hold ourselves accountable for everything that happens to us. We need to understand that as William Ernest Henley stated “I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.”
In my experience, I have seen that most people want to have more, do more and be more. The challenge is that most times the wants are listed in the exact order as previously stated, have more, do more, be more. However, the order must be reversed in order for us to reach the desires of our hearts. I will use my favorite fruit, orange to illustrate what I mean. I have come to realize a startling truth about oranges and fruits in general. I can only get oranges to eat if some of the many flowers that it produces remains on the living tree. Now getting oranges to eat, that is what I consider as having more, the flowers that produce the oranges, that is what I consider as doing more, and the tree that nourishes the flower that is what I consider as doing more. Pay attention to the order as our lives are no different. The tree produces the flower, and the flower produces the fruit. Without the tree there can be no flower, without the flower there will be no fruits, and if there are no fruits I won’t be eating anything, at the least, not oranges. “DID I JUST MAKE A GRAND DISCOVERY, OF COURSE NOT!” Yet the point should not be missed. We must first “BE”, then “DO”, so we can “HAVE”. The orange tree will always produce oranges once it is not barren. Occasionally it might miss a season but being an orange tree it will get right back to producing oranges because that is its nature. It is also important to note that if there is a problem with the tree it will affect the production of the flower which will affect the types of fruits that are produced. The fact is all we have accomplished or failed to accomplish is a result of who we are at the core. This might be a bitter pill to swallow and I still have difficulty accepting it at times, however, I have come to understand that telling myself that a fire is not fire does not mean it will not burn me just the same.
Oftentimes we look at the results we are getting, and because we live in an “EXCUSES SOCIETY,” we immediately start to curse our circumstances and those around us that we are SURE are causing all our problems. Ask any ten persons; why they are not doing as well as they think they should be doing, and see how many will say, “I am the reason why I am not doing well”. Those of us who think a little bit more will start to look at the things we are doing over time and how they impact our results. The yet deeper insight will reveal that our results are more than our doing it goes back to who WE ARE!! Many are cursing the bitter fruits of their circumstances yet they would never strike a blow at the root of the tree that produces the fruits. We curse; fuss and quarrel about the results yet tend not to hold the producer of the results more accountable, that is, YOU and ME.
If we are ever going to make meaningful changes, then we have to learn to take responsibility for everything that happens to us. Someone no doubt will question, Do you mean everything? Yes, I do mean everything. It means that if your father abandons you as a child and you did not get a decent education to manage life, take it on the chin, take responsibility, and move forward. It was not your fault; you are not the one to be blamed. Yet, unless you take responsibility for your life in such a situation, you will always live as a victim, and victims live miserable lives. That is why you need to be accountable for whatever happens to you. IF YOU ARE GOING TO RISE HIGHER THAN YOU ARE, THEN YOU HAVE TO BE BETTER THAN YOU ARE! It is of utmost importance that we hold ourselves accountable and hold ourselves to high standards.
Blessed Love